Random Moments in the life of Bella Swan!
by Michael2011
Summary: A story written by my sis Kya and myself! It's just a bunch of random stuff that we though of as we were chatting the other day! so Read and Review! My first Fan Fic! Kya here, BE NICE! *EDITED! MAKES MORE SENSE!*
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note****: Hey! This is your fave writer RWH! Yea, I know this is Michael2011's pen name but he asked me to post this for him. So when you review, be nice… or else I will sick my own Edward on you! (He's a black cat!)**

**Ok, this is just a bunch of random stuff that Michael and I were thinking and I asked if he wanted to turn it into a fan fiction.**

_Hey Kya get off my story! _

_Hey! This is Michael2011, yea that was Kya (or RWH) I got her away cuz I thought you could read the real me!_

_She told me to rate it M. (IDK why! It might be the language.)_

* * *

Chapter One

**Bella:** Remind me why were writing notes Alice?

**Alice:** Cuz its fun!

**Edward:** Oh brother!

**Emmett:** Yes!? I LIKE CHEESE!

**Bella:** Emmett you can't even eat cheese.

**Emmett:** SO! I STILL WANT TO WEAR A DRESS!

**Rosalie: **You can barrow one of mine!

**Emmett: **YEAH!

**Jasper: **Ok, which one of you is horny?

**Edward: **That would be me! Bella you look so 'appetizing'!

**Bella:** As do you (she purrs)

**Jacob: **Get a room! you leech!

**Edward: **Why don't you go screw yourself dog boy!

**Jacob: **Can't, I like it doggie style!

**Bella:** Ewe! Jake, get out of here! You sick mutt!

**Jacob: **You think I'm sick? You're the one wanting to sleep with a leech!

**Bella:** Is there a problem with that? Just because I would rather screw Edward then a smelly DOG!

**Emmett: **I WANT A PUPPY! CAN WE KEEP HIM ROSE!

**Rosalie: **As long as he gets neutered first!

**Alice: **Oh! Can I do the honors!?

**Jacob: **NO!! I WANT MY MAN HOOD! (Jake leaves yelping)

_(At School, lunch hour)_

**Edward: **Bella? Would you like to skip school for the rest of the day?

**Bella:** And do what?

_(Edward raises his eyebrows a few times)_

**Bella:** HELL YES!

**Emmett: **I think I forgot to flush the toilet this morning!

**Rosalie: **Wow Emmett!

**Jasper: **Will you all stop feeling Horny! I think I'm going to attack Alice any minute now!

**Alice: **Would that be a bad thing?

**Emmett: **MY NAME IS FRED! MY MONKEYS NAME IS ED!

* * *

_Ok, random I know but hey what can I say?_

**That you have a sick mind?**

_Shut up Kya! Or I'll tell them your full name!_

**NO!! NOT THAT!**

_Then leave me in peace! Ok, I beg you to Read and Review!_

**Or I will come after you! and be nice.**

_KYALANE SUZEN! (K-I-uh-lean)_

**HOW COULD YOU!?**

_Easy I just type!_

_THX!_

_MIC/_**RWH**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note****: Hey this is RWH **_and Michael2011!_ **With the next chapter!**

**I thought that last one was good right?**

_I laughed my ass off as we wrote it! You are so GROSS!!_

**I know! :)**

_So, without further bickering from a brother and sister..._

_**Chapter 2**_

* * *

Chapter 2

_(The Cullen House...by the new Pool!)_

**Bella: **Emmett? Why are you wearing just a towel?

**Emmett:** Cuz my ass is naked!

**Bella: **GROSS!

**Rosalie: **Yum!!

**Emmett: **KIDING! I'm wearing a speedo! Sorry Rose!

_(The rest of the family comes out except Jasper. Emmett beings to dance for Alice.)_

**Edward: **Emmett? What the fuck?

**Alice:** Shut Up Edward! Alice likey!

**Edward: **Jasper will kill Emmett! On second thought that would be fun to watch! JASPER!

**Alice: **EDWARD NO! BELLA STOP HIM!

_(Bella walks forward seductively, takes Edwards face and kisses him passionately)_

**Jasper:** What is going on? Why is Emmett horny? Edward why did you call me?

**Edward: **I called you?

**Emmett: **ROSE IS SO SMEXY!!

_(Emmett takes Rose inside and they all hear moaning!)_

**Bella: **Are you going to do something with me? I'm yours take me!

**Edward: **How would you like me to take you?

**Bella: **DOGGIE STYLE!

**Jacob: **I could do that for you Bells!

**Bella: **YOU SICK TWISTED RETARDED MAMA DOING WHORE!

**Jacob: **Better then a Vamp!

**Bella: **I love the way Edward feels. I hate heat! I want a man as cold as the North Pole!

**Edward: **That would be me! Shall we, Bella love?

**Jacob: **Are you leaving me with 'feeling leech'?

**Jasper:** NEVER in your LIFE MUTT! Alice are you coming? If I don't see _you_ then I think I will attack you!

**Alice: **Come and get me!

**Rosalie: **MONSTER!! BEAR!!

**Esme:** Wow this family is so horny.

* * *

**Ok, that was so...Dirty!! and Random!**

_I'll SAY! Your sick, but that was cool!_

**That's why I'm here!**

_I kept getting mental picts!_

**I really didn't know that...neither did they! Sorry for my brothers sick mind!**

_I'm not!_

_**Luv,**_

_Michael/_**RWH (Kya)**


End file.
